In honor of Black Friday week, my bestselling thriller, Elixir, will be free on Kindle all week...through the end of Black Friday, Pacific Time.  If you use Kindle, you should take advantage of this limited offer before it ends.  Download your free copy here:

Elixir Amazon Page

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If you're a fellow author and are interested in marketing online, check out this free e-book I put together that teaches you how to target potential readers on Google, and sell more copies of your books.

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I had the pleasure yesterday to do an interview with Aditi Saha, the Goodreads #1 Top Reviewer, for her new blog, Book Stop Corner.  We talk about Elixir, Ebola, my future projects, and what writers should do on the weekends.  Check it out.

 

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Just signed and packaged 20 copies of Elixir for the winners of the Goodreads giveaway.  Thanks to everyone who entered, and congrats to the winners!

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A cliché is a crutch, especially in comedy.  It’s the equivalent of copy-catting.  Ironically, most jokes that are considered clichés now, when they were first written, were hysterical.  Unfortunately, other writers have tried to capitalize on the success of the jokes’ originators, ripping them off for decades by working variations of the original gags into their writing.  The result is that these once-funny bits have been watered down to nothing more than annoyances to an audience.  If you’re a writer – whether of books, movies, TV shows, or anything else – avoid these ten comedic crutches:

1.       “Check please.”  A guy is on a date with a girl, and she hints that she’s interested in going home with him.  The guy stops whatever he’s doing – even if he has a full plate of food in front of him – turns to the waiter, and says, “Check please.”

2.       Rubber-glove snap.  A guy, who is usually guilty of nothing, winds up at the mercy of an angry cop needing to search him.  When the guy asks what sort of a search to expect, the cop pulls a rubber glove out and snaps it on.

3.       The contradictory intro.  Character 1 is singing the praises of Character 2 to someone.  In the middle of the gushing, Character 2 bursts into the room, and surprisingly, is nothing like what he’s been described as.  For instance, a father is telling the headmaster of a fancy boarding school how intelligent and enterprising his son is, and then his son stumbles into the headmaster’s office drunk, with a beer can in each hand.    

4.       The fall-apart whack.  A character either finds or builds something he’s really proud of.  When he shows it to his friends, to demonstrate how quality it is, he gives it a whack with his hand.  To his shock, the whole thing falls apart.

5.       The old/young lingo mishap.  An older character – usually a grandparent – grossly mispronounces or misuses the name of a product that’s popular with a younger generation.  For instance, Facebook is thought to be a physical book filled with photographs of people’s faces.

6.       The magical kid fix.  A responsible adult character is spending hours trying to set something up, typically an electronics product.  The person’s child – under ten years old – waltzes into the room and does something extremely simple to solve the problem, like plugging in the power cord.

7.       Lustful loss of speech.  Transfixed by an attractive female, an adult male character temporarily loses his ability to speak.

8.       Lustful loss of motor skills.  Transfixed by an attractive female, an adult male character temporarily loses his ability to walk, usually slamming into a wall or sign.

9.       The taste lie.  A character cooks for others.  Trying to be nice, the people eating nod and say the food tastes great, while holding back expressions of repulse.

10.   Mother-in-law doomsday.  A wife mentions to her husband that her mom, or his mother-in-law, will be spending a few days with them.  He acts as if he’s about to be ushered down death row.


If you have other clichés I missed, feel free to add them to the comments.  The longer we can make this list, the better; hopefully it can bring awareness to stale jokes and motivate writers to come up with fresh replacements.

For more writing tips, check out my post on how to write a book.

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Have a great story premise in your head, but the thought of a finished three-hundred-plus-page book seems impossible?  You’re not alone.  Countless people, especially those who love reading, get an impulse to write a book at some point in their lives.  And a lot of them actually begin writing that book; however, after the first thousand or so words, many put it off and then never get back to it.  Of those that stick around, plenty others coast to a halt around the ten-thousand-word mark.  So how do you make it over that eighty-thousand-word mountain and publish Book 1?

As someone who released his first only a couple months ago, I just went through this experience myself, and I completely understand how frustrating it can feel at times.  Luckily, like most other things, you can get past it with a little hard work, a little planning, and a little bit of a “screw it” attitude.

The reason unfinished first novels are so widespread is because there are two separate problems at play, one involving the tricky craft of super-long-form story structure and another involving the tricky craft of cramming book writing into your already-busy schedule. 

Isn’t it annoying when you see celebrity authors cranking out two, sometimes three, books a year?  You wonder why it’s so easy for them.  It’s easy because after their first novel many years ago, they’ve already mastered problem one – super-long-form story structure – and as for problem two, cramming writing into their schedules, this isn’t a problem at all since writing is their schedule; they don’t have classes or jobs to contend with and can wake up in the morning and simply bang the keys all day.  So don’t get annoyed by them; you have it a lot harder.

Rest assured, you can someday get there yourself.  But first, you need to learn how to overcome the two biggest problems debut authors face; I’ve separated this article into two parts, one for each.

Aspiring Author Tip 1 – Structure Your Plot   

It’s ridiculous when you read an article about writing a debut book and it begins with something like this, “The first thing you need to do is come up with an interesting idea for a story, which takes a lot of brainstorming…”  Yada yada yada.  This is crap.  Coming up with an idea for a story isn’t something you do by brainstorming.  The best stories are personal; even fictional ones are tied to some level of truth in the author’s life.  Everyone instinctively has a story to tell; the main reason people think about writing a book in the first place is because they have a great story trapped in their head they want to get out.

If you’re reading this I’m sure you already have an awesome premise for a novel, and probably already have a great main character and a few cool supporting ones too.  Though intriguing characters and a powerful premise often fill the heart of a book, they’re not the difficult part in putting a book together, especially for a debut writer.  The hard part is filling three hundred pages with stuff.

So how do you do it?  The key is understanding that most plots have a similar underlying structure, even if they appear very different on the surface.  The plot of most mainstream fiction (whether in books, film, TV, theater, etc) typically follows a protagonist through a very organized beginning, middle, and end, as he battles against an antagonist to get something he wants.  There is of course no precise “template” for how this is done, however, the vast majority of mainstream publications follow a very similar trajectory as their protagonists go on their journeys.

If you can grasp what this trajectory tends to look like, filling pages with stuff will come naturally, since you won’t be thinking of your writing as individual “scenes” stacked on top of each other, but a fluid progression where one thing naturally leads to the next.

Not every book follows the flow I’m about to tell you, and many great stories have nothing in common with it at all, however, if you’re writing your first novel and are stuck at only a few thousand words, understanding this concept should hopefully help you reshuffle your outline and move things forward.  Below I broke out how this classic progression works within the beginning, middle, and end:

The Beginning

• Give your protagonist something to want
• Stress that it is very unlikely he (or she) will get what he wants
• Have a major event occur in the protagonist’s life that “shakes him up,” and forces him to go after what he wants with all his heart
• Set the stakes by establishing that things will be very bad for the protagonist if the journey he’s about to go on doesn’t end well
• Introduce the antagonist, a person (or thing) that’s the central force preventing the protagonist from completing his journey
• Introduce allies, people that will help the protagonist along the way

The Middle

• Send the protagonist off on the journey
• Highlight the camaraderie between him and his allies
• Throw in a twist, something that causes the journey to be even more difficult than the good guy and his allies initially thought
• Piss off the antagonist and have him go after the protagonist with even more vigor
• Show cracks in the resolve of the protagonist; after the twist and the increased aggression from the bad guy, he begins to have serious doubts about completing the journey
• Show cracks in the relationships with the allies; with the protagonist doubtful of himself, he begins acting erratically and pushes away his friends
• Have the protagonist hit an emotional rock bottom
• Inflate the ego of the antagonist, who thinks he’s bested the good guy

The End

• Send the protagonist off to do some self-reflecting
• Make him realize he has to get back on the right track and complete his journey or else his life will never be the same
• Invigorate his spirit; motivate him to go after what he wants with even more energy than he had before, and reunite him with his allies in doing this
• Let him tell his allies about a new plan he has to beat the bad guy
• Put the protagonist and antagonist head to head in a final showdown
• Introduce a twist that sets the good guy’s progress back; just when he thought his plan was going to work, the bad guy seems to be winning
• Have the protagonist pick himself back up, go after the antagonist with one final push, and beat him (but just barely)
• Give the protagonist what he wanted the whole time
• Close by showing him living happily now that he has what he always dreamed of

Again, this is not a set-in-stone pattern, however, it should hopefully give you some insight into the ups and downs of a mainstream fictional story, and help you craft your own plot.  This general structure applies to many genres.  Whether you’re writing a thriller about a spy going after a terrorist network, or a love story about a divorced woman looking to find romance again, the concepts hold true.  In the spy book, the allies would be, for example, CIA agents, and the antagonist would be the head of the terrorist group.  In the romance novel, the allies could be the main character’s best friend and sister, and the antagonist could be the manipulative ex-girlfriend of the new man she falls in love with.

Though getting a plot down is the most important part of finishing your book, it doesn’t mean your story will necessarily be great.  There are many novels out there with structured plots that simply don’t captivate readers.  Though there’s no direct path for writing a memorable book, all great stories have three elements in common.  One, they have a plot that’s interesting.  Two, the world of the story and the characters are relatable.  And finally, everything comes together in such a way as to convey a unified message.  For more on these elements, check out my post about plot, relatability, and message, and my other on how to write a book.


Aspiring Author Tip 2 – Structure Your Life

If you’re writing your first book, chances are you don’t have some pre-arranged big-money deal with a publishing company.  You likely are in school or have a job.  It can of course be tough to write something of novel length when you’re dealing with exams or quarterly reviews.  Filling three hundred pages with stuff can seem very intimidating.  However, if you break the task out into little pieces, and have a simple, repeatable plan for attacking each piece, it’s much easier than it seems.

A typical novel is about eighty thousand words, which sounds like a ton.  However, if you write just a thousand words a day (considerably less than the length of this article), you’ll be done with your first draft in only eighty days, which is less than the time between Labor Day and Thanksgiving.  A thousand words a day is a very attainable goal, even if you have school or work in your life.

To make sure you meet that number, set aside a consistent time of the day just for writing, and let people know you’ll be busy then for the next few months.  How do you pick the right time?  Well, since you can’t add hours to the day, you’ll have to of course cut something out.  Is there a certain time of day you find yourself being totally lazy?  For instance, from 11:00 AM to 3:00 PM, between classes, do you catch yourself watching reality TV re-runs?  If so, use this chunk of time for your book. 

Very few people have all their waking hours filled with productive activities; I’m sure you can pinpoint a couple down periods a day you can stick writing into.  Now, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t let yourself have some leisure time.  It’s very important for writers (and people in general), to have time to decompress and let their minds relax every day.  However, if you can shrink some of this downtime from six hours a day to just two, you’ve opened up four hours to fit in your thousand words.

Finally, getting a thousand words written daily is going to be tough – no matter how much time you allot to yourself – if you aren’t sure what you’re going to write about before you sit down each day.  It’s critical to have a plot outline – even if it’s very generalized – completed before you begin writing the actual chapters in your book. 

Thinking about some of the ideas I went over with Tip 1 in this article, put together a good outline, then cut out the bad TV and get going on that book.    

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Have you ever been inside a cool restaurant or hotel and were immediately grabbed by the scenery? Likely, you were somewhere that blended different design styles; this sort of “wow” reaction typically only comes from scenery that is (1) different and (2) beautiful. That’s not to say traditional design can’t be great – for instance, a beach hotel in the Caribbean with top-notch tropical furniture, bars, art, etc may be awesome, but it’s not likely to produce the “wow” reaction that a place like The Wynn/Encore Resort in Las Vegas does, which combines multiple design techniques in a totally original way.

The same is true with books. Though books that squarely fit in one genre can be great – and even pack shock value – it’s tough for them to be considered truly unique; over time, most of the ones that are attempting to be “different” at very best are considered more-extreme versions of predecessors in their categories. Greatness and uniqueness, though they often overlap, are two very separate things. The only way a single-genre book – even if it’s great – can carve out its own distinct place is if the underlying message in it is a total departure from everything before it, ie The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger.

Books with effective radical messages are few and far between, and often have just as much to do with the political/social climate of the time they were published as the writing itself. Genre blending on the other hand is much more accessible, as it relies strictly on what exists on the page, and not the events in the world. If done naturally without drawing attention to itself, it has the ability to create a whole new category, which by effect only has one book in it; now that’s unique.

There are of course other ways for single-genre books to stand out, for instance, an author telling a story from a very interesting perspective, switching from first person to third person and jumping through time. However, things like format and perspective, though powerful tools, are lenses that stories are told through, while genre sits at the heart of the story itself.

So, how does genre blending work? Usually a story holds true to a main genre while weaving in elements from one to many others. For illustrative purposes I’m going to use an example that’s not a book, but rather, a movie – Pulp Fiction, written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. Principally it’s a crime film, however, it successfully incorporates pieces from all of these genres and potentially even more (depending on definitions): Western, romantic suspense, buddy, religious, and slapstick comedy.

Pulp Fiction meshes these components in an apparently effortless way, without drawing any attention to the “seams.” The result is something that is not only different, but works fluidly as a whole. This brings me to my final point: different for the sake of being different is typically a terrible strategy, whether in hotel design, books, or movies. A cell phone that weighs 100 lbs may be different, but I guarantee nobody will trade in their iPhone for it. “Different” only works if it’s part of a bigger vision. As mentioned earlier, uniqueness and greatness are separate things; for them to overlap, genres should be blended in a way that works underneath the story, silently making it better without creating any distractions. That’s where the “wow” comes from.

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Three major components of the quality of a novel are plot, relatability, and message. Unfortunately, there is no optimum method for weighing and mixing them, which is why so many books fall flat. Here is what each means:

• Plot = The events happening in the world of the story. Ex: a crook preparing to rob a bank.

• Relatability = The ability for the reader to emotionally connect with the characters involved in the book’s events, and thus, care about the plot. Ex: we find out the crook is robbing the bank because he needs the money to pay for his son’s college education.

• Message = The implied commentary on the “world” that the author makes at the end of the story, based on how things have settled plot-wise. Ex: the crook gets killed during the robbery, which stresses the universal message: Crime doesn’t pay, even if your intentions are good. On the other hand, if the robber were to get away clean, pay the tuition bills, and then safely retire from his criminal past, the message would be quite different: Crime may be worthwhile if the ends justify the means.

Clearly, all three of the components are intertwined. The success of the “message” depends directly on the end state of the “plot,” and the only way people care about the plot – and finish the story – is if “relatability” is built into the characters. Many books do a great job with one of the components, maybe two, however, unless all three are working in harmony, the net effect is always underwhelming.

For instance, we’ve all read a mystery where we’re dying to turn each page and can’t wait to find out what happens next. However, once we get to that final page, and we find out “whodunnit,” the book immediately leaves our minds; we can’t even remember the name of the protagonist the next morning. Stories like these do a good job with plot, but fail with relatability and message.

Moreover, we’ve all been recommended a book with funny and quirky contemporary characters we fall in love with. However, though their jokes may be great and they remind us of people we know in real life – maybe even ourselves – it doesn’t seem like they’re actually doing much but sitting around and talking, even if what they’re saying is interesting. These books are high on relatability, but low and plot and message.

Finally, we’ve all had an experience with a well-intentioned book aimed at tackling some major social issue. It makes big, sweeping claims for a moral revolution, however, by the end, we’re just not that motivated to get behind the cause. We got the feeling we weren’t experiencing characters in their own world, but rather, listening to the author talk to us directly in his or her own words. Though these books may be putting forward a great message, it doesn’t have any bite because we haven’t been convinced of it by the actions of characters we care about – hence, a lot of message, but no plot or relatability.

Yes, certain genres of novels lend themselves more toward certain components, and it may be difficult for authors to blend each. However, truly great books – from any category – are able to find a distinct harmony among the three.

When a story is able to succeed with the right balance, the results are extraordinary. For instance, Kurt Vonnegut does a terrific job achieving equilibrium between the three with his classic, Slaughterhouse-Five. Not only does the plot move fast and through various interesting, unique settings, but we care deeply for our innocent/crazy/regretful/hopeful hero, Billy Pilgrim, throughout all the action. By the time the story ends, Vonnegut’s message about war is crystal clear and powerful. And that message – and the book itself – has had a lasting effect on generations.

Looking to write a novel? Check out my post on how to write a book.

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